GoHeels Exclusive: Always Remembered

by Pat James

Ten years ago, inside Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey, Charlotte and Emmitt Ray said goodbye.

On March 23, 2007, their son Jason – a 21-year-old senior at North Carolina who spent three years performing as the Tar Heels' mascot, Rameses, at UNC sporting events – was hit by a car on the side of Route 4 in Fort Lee.

Jason had traveled with the men's basketball team to New Jersey for the NCAA Tournament. And just before a game against Southern California in the regional semifinals, he embarked on a trip to a nearby convenience store to buy a snack. It was then an SUV struck him as he walked along the side of the road.

When his parents arrived at the hospital from their home in Concord, N.C., Jason showed little brain activity. Doctors ultimately pronounced him dead on March 26.

"I told him when I left him, 'You'll never be forgotten,'" Charlotte said. "And I pretty well kept my word."

Ten years later, Jason continues to be remembered. His decision to become an organ donor, coupled with Charlotte and Emmitt's efforts to keep his legacy alive and raise awareness for organ donation through the Jason Ray Foundation, has touched countless lives.

So in honor of Jason's memory, both UNC mascots, Rameses and Rameses Jr. (RJ), will wear a commemorative patch at all remaining athletic events during the 2017-18 academic year, beginning with Saturday's football game against Duke.

The patch was created with hopes of raising awareness for the Jason Ray Foundation and reminding spirit squad members of how Jason represented the University.

"Honoring his legacy and bringing it to the forefront continues to help keep that momentum of his legacy in full view," said Brown Walters, the director of spirit programs, "as opposed to, 'Well, that was 10 years ago.' No, it's still current, it's still happening, it's still going on. These organ donations are happening every day, and his legacy is happening over here at this hospital and making things happen every single day."

Jason's organs saved the lives of four men. His tissue and bone fragments helped 114 others, according to UNC Hospitals.

Because of the connection with Carolina Basketball and the NCAA Tournament, Jason's death became national news. It led to his parents making an appearance on "Oprah" and a few years spent traveling the country, giving speeches about organ donor awareness. They've also spearheaded multiple fundraising efforts, such as the annual Jason Ray Foundation dinner and auction that will be held Sunday (Sept. 24) at The Carolina Club.

It's at UNC, after all, where Jason's story has perhaps resonated the most.

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Since 2008, the Department of Athletics has presented the Jason Ray Memorial Spirit Award to a member of the band, cheerleaders, dance team or mascots. In a ceremony last year, the UNC transplant clinic was renamed the UNC Hospitals Jason Ray Transplant Clinic.

And now comes further recognition with the patch.

For 10 years, Jason has been remembered. But the legacy he left behind began taking shape long before that.

Mr. Positive

Tyler Treadway teaches eighth grade social studies at Concord Middle School. Before that, he played Rameses from 2006-09.

Treadway said he was still searching for his place at UNC when he first became Rameses. The mascot helped him find that. So did Jason, the brother-like figure who navigated the Smith Center on game days like a VIP.

"He knew every security guard, every person at every station," Treadway said. "He knew the ins and outs and where we could go at halftime for cookies and drinks like all the alumni get. He was just so well-liked and so well-received, and he was Mr. Positive. From day one, he caught my eye."

Jason had an overflowing passion for everything he did in life. He ran with the bulls in Spain and visited the Sistine Chapel. He went on mission trips to Haiti, Honduras and Puerto Rico. He also served as the lead singer of his band, 9 PM Traffic.

But it was when he performed as Rameses that Jason's personality perhaps shone through the most.

"He got into being the mascot more so than almost anybody I can remember as long as I've been here," Walters said, "and this is my 21st year."

Charlotte and Emmitt moved to North Carolina from Kentucky in 1983, two years before Jason was born. They had three sons from earlier marriages. Jason was their only child together. But despite living in North Carolina, Jason grew up cheering for the Kentucky Wildcats like the rest of his family.

Jason ultimately decided to attend UNC, where he would have graduated from in May 2007 with a business degree. And early on during his time in Chapel Hill, he called his mother after spotting a flyer with details about trying out for Rameses.

"What would dad say if I tried out?" Charlotte remembers Jason asking. "We're all Kentucky people, and I'm up here."

"Well, that's alright," Charlotte told him. "That's you. You're going to school there, that's your school. If you want to be Rameses, you try out for it."

So Jason did, under the stipulation that Charlotte would break the news to Emmitt. About three days later, Jason called again. He got the job. Charlotte, however, forgot to tell Emmitt about the tryout. She passed him the phone.

"I just listened to see how Emmitt would handle it," Charlotte said, "but he handled it the same way I did. 'Well, Jason, that is wonderful. That is your school, and if that's what you want to do, we'll back you all the way.'"

When Jason was Rameses, he would get tickets for Charlotte and Emmitt to attend a UNC sporting event at least once a month. But following his death, they hesitated to return to the Smith Center. That was until the game against Florida State on March 4, 2008.

At halftime, Charlotte and Emmitt presented the inaugural Jason Ray Memorial Spirit Award to cheerleader Jeremy Crouthamel. They also received Jason's letterman's jacket. And as the night progressed, they watched the mascot and reminisced about their son.

"That first time when they had us come back, I just thought, 'I don't know if I can stand this or not,'" Charlotte said. "Because to me, (Rameses) was just Jason. But as time goes on, you learn to accept things. I always say God had a plan."

Giving them a chance

Charlotte was paying bills one day when Jason, still in high school, came home and placed his North Carolina driver's license on the kitchen table. He implored her to examine it.

At first, Charlotte complimented Jason's picture. But at his urging, her attention was then brought to the tiny red heart on his license, signifying Jason as an organ donor. Thus began the following exchange, as Charlotte remembers it:

"Mother, I'm not telling you I'm going to die or I want to die," Jason said. "I'm just telling you that if something happens to me and you cannot save me, do not bury me with anything that would help somebody else."

"Well, Jason," Charlotte said, "don't you sort of think if we come with these little organs we ought to leave with these little organs."

Jason stood up. "Mother, suppose somebody needed another chance with God," he said. "I'm giving them that chance, if I was to die and leave them an organ."

Charlotte couldn't muster a response. She figured she'd probably pass on before Jason, anyway, and wouldn't have to go through such a process. But then came the trip to New Jersey.

As Jason laid inside his hospital room, a transplant nurse approached Emmitt about consenting to have Jason's organs donated. Charlotte had never told Emmitt about her conversation with Jason, nor the red heart on Jason's license.

"When he walked in at the hospital in Hackensack, you could tell he was upset," said Charlotte of Emmitt. "He said, 'Charlotte, do you know what they're wanting to do?'"

Charlotte eventually calmed Emmitt down. She told him of Jason's intentions. A day later, Jason died – and the surgery to recover his organs and tissues proceeded as he planned.

Jason's organs helped prolong the lives of four New Jersey men – Ronald Griffin received Jason's heart, David Erving a kidney and pancreas, Dennis Korzelius his liver and Antwan Hunter a kidney. As part of ESPN's production of the "Ray of Hope" documentary, which detailed Jason's story, Charlotte and Emmitt met all four. They grew close to Griffin and Erving.

Griffin died in 2011, two years after his kidneys began to fail. He was 62. Charlotte and Emmitt still stay in touch with Griffin's wife, Stephanie, who will speak at Sunday's dinner and auction.

Erving calls the Rays at least every two weeks. A holiday never passes without him sending them a card.

"He is one who has really stayed true blue," said Charlotte of Erving.

According to UNC Hospitals, Jason's story encouraged 46,000 people in the United States to sign up as organ donors, creating the potential to save the lives of 165,000 people who need a transplant. Many at UNC, including Walters, are among those who have become organ donors.

Treadway said he was an organ donor before Jason's death. However, he added he previously would've needed to look at his driver's license to confirm that. Now, as a teacher who requires a commercial driver's license to drive a bus and often renews it, he said he can't separate the red heart on his license from his friend Jason and his story.

"When I got it renewed, they asked, 'Do you want to do organ donation?'" said Treadway, the 2008-09 recipient of the Jason Ray Memorial Spirit Award. "And it's a very proud yes."

Always remembered

Following Jason's death, Charlotte said it felt like "the end of the world had come." She spent several days wringing her hands, crying and walking around the house. Emmitt couldn't speak.

Then came a phone call that forever changed their lives. UNC Hospitals contacted the Rays and asked them if they could help raise $1 million for the transplant clinic. Emmitt wasn't home when Charlotte received the call. But when he returned, she informed him of their new goal.

"When he came in and I told him what we were going to do, he said, 'Do you know how much money $1 million is?'" Charlotte said. "And I said, 'Well, we've got to do something. We can't do anything for Jason. But we can sure help somebody else.'"

Thus began the Jason Ray Foundation's grand mission.

Sunday's dinner and silent auction, the ninth ever, and an annual golf tournament highlight the foundation's biggest fundraisers. The money from such events helps people in need of an organ with the costs of the operations, rehabilitation, travel and ongoing care.

Ten years after Jason's death, the foundation is about halfway to its goal of $1 million. And in addition to raising awareness about organ donation, the foundation has given Charlotte and Emmitt a platform to tell people about their son.

"That's the way our life has been spent the past 10 years," Charlotte said. "We just love to talk about him."

Others also continue sharing Jason's story.

Newspaper clippings about Jason hang on the walls of Treadway's classroom. They've occasionally sparked conversations with students. Each year, around March, Walters sends the members of the spirit programs a link to the "Ray of Hope" documentary.

"This is somebody who meant a lot to the University and was a great ambassador of Carolina," he tells them.

This year, Walters will reiterate that message a few months earlier than usual. He plans on gathering the spirit squad members before Saturday's game. He'll tell them about Jason and his story – and what it means for the mascots to don a patch in Jason's honor.

"It's a reminder of what Jason did," said Larry Gallo, UNC's executive associate athletic director who has remained in touch with Charlotte and Emmitt since that fateful trip to New Jersey 10 years ago. "A reminder of who he was, what he meant to this University, to our athletic department, and really, the mark that he left on society as far as his choice to be an organ donor and how it's affected people and raised awareness."

A decade later, Jason continues making an impact. And as his parents promised him, he hasn't been forgotten.

"A lot of people leave this world and nobody remembers them," Emmitt said. "At least Jason is remembered."

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