Lucas: All Apologies

By Adam Lucas

I would like to apologize.

At this point, it feels like that's the only way to turn this around. Carolina has lost three straight one-possession home games and four one-possession home games this season.

Prior to this season, the Tar Heels had lost five such home games since the 2010 season. That's right. There's been nearly a decade's worth of last-second misery this season (this is where you nod knowingly and think, "It sure feels like it"). Every possible buzzer-beating shot has been made. Every possible intentionally missed free throw has taken the weirdest—and most fortuitous for the opposition—possible bounce. Every whistle has been unkind.

Jobu is not here and it doesn't feel politically correct in the year 2020 to sacrifice a chicken. So I'd like to apologize. Maybe this is our penance. Maybe we need to formally acknowledge that it's been tough to be pushed around by the Tar Heels for, oh, pretty much the history of the Atlantic Coast Conference. Perhaps recognizing the pain the Carolina program has inflicted on others will bring an end to this series of heartbreak. And so:

Virginia, I'm sorry that when you had a gamechanging player named Ralph Sampson, a center who could have revolutionized the game, the Tar Heels still managed a winning record against you. I'm sorry Michael Jordan stole the ball from Rick Carlisle. I certainly hope you'll forgive us for Ademola Okulaja knocking down that three-pointer at University Hall in 1999.

Boston College, I'm sorry about that time Tyrese Rice was so hot he was fanning himself running down the court in the first half, and then the Tar Heels came out and whipped you in the second half and won the game.

Wake Forest: it was unfortunate that at one point you were actually playing your home games at the Greensboro Coliseum, which was basically a home game for the Tar Heels. And hey, sorry about that 18-0 lead last year.

Pittsburgh, evidently you are in the ACC now. Sorry about giving your best player a warm welcome home the last couple years. But the good news is he really looks happy when he comes back to Chapel Hill, as he did on Saturday night, when his face appeared on the Smith Center video board with the graphic, "Cameron Johnson" and right below it, "Dunked all over Javale McGee."

Syracuse, I said a lot of bad things about you in 1987 when Rony Seikaly beat the Tar Heels in the NCAA Tournament. I want you to know that I regret none of them. But I do apologize for all those high-low passes in the Carrier Dome in 2016 and 2018.

NC State…nah.

Clemson, it wasn't very nice to torment you in Chapel Hill for over half a century. Let's let bygones be bygones (except for Iker Iturbe, because that one might live forever). Wayne Ellington salutes you and it is most certainly not funny every time when Bobby Frasor falls over the chair on the replay from that night in Littlejohn.

Louisville. Oh, Louisville. We're sorry for Joel Berry being the rim protector and for Marcus Paige being Marcus Paige on the game-winner in the Smith Center.

Virginia Tech, perhaps Tyler Hansbrough is slightly apologetic for that celebration dance after the game-winner in the ACC Tournament. But as for the shot itself? Nah, he doesn't apologize for that one.

Dear Duke: we're sorry that the Tar Heels actually won that game in 1995 when Jeff Capel hit the shot and everyone thinks it was a game-winner.

Hey Georgia Tech, Lethal Weapon 3 was actually a very cool team.

Florida State, sorry about George Lynch stealing that cross-court pass in 1993, and for Ty Lawson and Harrison Barnes breaking your heart in Tallahassee.

Miami, Kendall Marshall and Tyler Zeller would like to formally request your forgiveness for that 2011 comeback that ended with the Zeller buzzer-beater.

Notre Dame, you're up next, so this one needs to be heartfelt. It truly wasn't very nice of Dean Smith to beat you on St. Patrick's Day in the NCAA Tournament. We recognize how insensitive that was.

Let's cover all our bases: Maryland, sorry about turning up the heat on all of ol' Lefty's teams in Carmichael and for that time Len Elmore got bizarrely upset about John Henson celebrating a Carolina win over the Terps. And South Carolina, every once in a while we even miss you a little.

If we've learned anything in the year 2020, it's that public contrition is supposed to generate some goodwill. These Tar Heels are parched for goodwill, and maybe this will do it.

But someone keep track of a chicken just in case, because I just can't bring myself to apologize for eight points in 17 seconds.

University of North Carolina Athletics

Players Mentioned

Cameron Johnson

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