University of North Carolina Athletics
CAROLINA: You've Got A Friend
March 4, 2014 | Women's Lacrosse
NOTE: This article originally appeared in the spring preview print issue of CAROLINA, available to Rams Club members.
by Amy Hoots
Few things could keep Ashley Vellines, assistant lacrosse coach at Old Dominion University, from traveling to Pennsylvania to watch her youngest sister Abbey Friend play for an NCAA lacrosse national championship. The impending birth of her first child was one of those few things that could keep her away. With her due date scheduled just a day after the national championship game, Levine was forced to watch her sister compete on TV in what she described as "one of the best lacrosse games I've ever seen in my life."
It was not a game for the weak of heart. Ashley's baby boy held off entering this world until a few days after the confetti had settled and her heart rate returned to its normal speed. "If three overtimes doesn't put you into labor, I don't know what does," Ashley said.
The national championship and a newborn baby were two of many celebrations the Friend family experienced in 2013. To kick off the big year, Friend's other sister, Mandy, got married. After the national championship game, Friend and her newlywed sister joined forces on the Canadian national team and brought home the silver medal in the World Cup.
Three sisters, living in different cities, in different life stages, but as close as ever. The sisters grew up in Canadaigua, New York, a place as a cold as it sounds. The chilly temperatures didn't keep the Friend sisters inside though, and for as long as she can remember, youngest sister Abbey had a stick in her hand. She is five years younger than Mandy and seven years younger than Ashley.
The older ones didn't take it easy on their sister just because she was the baby of the family. "She always got the brunt of our older sisterhood," Ashley said. "We would dress her up when she was a baby. We had fun with her. When we needed a goalie, we'd toss her in the cage."
Ashley has similar memories. "When I was younger, they'd throw shin guards on and they'd take me into the backyard and whip tennis balls at me," she laughed. "They definitely made me tough, but they made me who I am."
Friend's position in her family did not go unnoticed by Carolina head coach Jenny Levy. "We look at pecking orders in families. When you're the youngest, there are a certain set of character traits that seems to be consistent with that position in the family," Levy said. "Feistiness and combativeness...those are the things we saw in Abbey and that's exactly what she's been like since she's been here."
What started as a mode of survival in her household grew into a useful weapon on the field. "She's got a big heart, but she's definitely a competitor and she's definitely edgy," Levy said. "Abbey will snap once in a while. And that's OK. We embrace that. I'm OK with people having a lot of fire in their belly. That's what makes you good."
Ashley was the first to leave New York state to play lacrosse at the University of Richmond. Mandy joined her sister's team two years later. While Abbey spent much of her life following her sisters' lead, she forged her own path when it came to selecting the college she would attend. "Carolina was the full package for me. I wanted to go to school where other teams won national championships, and we had a chance to win a national championship as well," she said.
Win they did, and in stunning style. Carolina overcame an undefeated Maryland team, 13-12 in the longest NCAA game in lacrosse history. For Friend, the national championship was important not only for Carolina, but for the sport of lacrosse as a whole. In upstate New York, lacrosse reigns. She had to get used to playing in a place where lacrosse was not the primary sport, and Friend felt a responsibility to increase exposure to the sport she loves so much.
The national championship game was a step in that direction. "I feel like we changed the game of lacrosse," she said. "As big and crazy as that sounds, I really feel that's what that game did. I know a lot of people that wouldn't have watched women's lacrosse watched that game."
At the time of her enrollment, Carolina's lacrosse team couldn't boast of winning a national championship, but going into her senior season, Friend has one national championship under her belt-and she isn't done yet.
The Tar Heels entered the 2014 season ranked on top in Lacrosse Magazine's preseason poll. In a late January scrimmage, the Heels nearly upset the United States National Team in an exciting overtime finish. As defending champs, the Heels have a different set of pressures to deal with. "When you're at the top, you've got to find ways to improve the next year," said Friend.
As the team's leading returning scorer, Friend finds herself as one of the best players in the top program. Last year as a junior, she was named second-team All-America and was a member of the All-ACC team for the second year in a row.
Although she's seen tremendous success, she has battled injuries throughout her college career. She has tendonitis in both knees and in the past was not able to participate with the team in their preseason training. Finally, for the first time, Friend was healthy enough to train with the team this past fall. "This year, I've really been able to go 100 percent with the team. That was really important for me to get healthy so I can participate in all the runs and all the lifts."
Friend has a quick first step and a penchant for dodging defenders. She's also the one you want to have control of the ball when the game is on the line. "She has quick hands and she understands the game very well," Levy said. "We always knew we could put her on the back end of a play and she would finish."
Fellow senior Taylor George commented, "When the game is getting a little hairy, she's definitely someone who wants to be involved in a play." George described Friend as an emotional player. "When something good happens, you can see how fired up she is. When something bad happens, you can see how upset about it she is. She definitely keeps the emotional pulse of the team."
Off the field, positive attitude spills into her life. "She is one of the most enthusiastic and lively people I know," George said. "She's passionate in the way that when she likes something, she loves something."
You can feel that passion when she describes her nephew, Jack. "I'm obsessed with him," Friend said. The Buffalo Bills football team is another love that Friend has stayed true to, despite the team's recent string of losing seasons. When a game isn't broadcast locally on TV, a dedicated Friend will perch in front of her computer and follow the play-by-play on GameTracker.
Friend's last name suits her, and certainly describes her personality. "If someone's struggling on the team, Abbey takes that very personally," Levy said. "She's very sensitive about how others are doing, how others are feeling."
George recalled a few years ago when Margaret Corzel tore her ACL. "I think Abbey was more upset and emotional about it than maybe even Margaret was," she said. "She is really affected by other people's feelings."
Levy talks with the team about creating bridges outside of lacrosse so that on the field it will come naturally. Friend takes that to heart. "You have to have chemistry off field if you want it on the field," she said. To Friend, her teammates are much more than that. "Besides my immediate family, those 35 girls are the most important people in my life."
She relishes her time with her teammates and chooses to live with four other seniors on the team. "If there's any advice I could give another player, it's to spend as much time with your team as possible, because in four years, it's all going to be over and everybody is going to have real lives and real jobs, and we're not going to be able to sit on the couch and watch Treehouse Masters." If they aren't watching their favorite reality TV show, Friend loves coming home from practice, sitting around the kitchen island and talking for hours to the same group of woman she was with most of the day. "No matter what, we always have something to talk about, something to laugh about."
After joining 'real life,' some college students look back on their days at school and wish that at the time, they had appreciated the unique and fun days of college life. Friend and her roommates likely will not experience those regrets, as they are grateful for each day together. When asked, they may dodge any questions about where their lives will take them following graduation. Friend understands how special this phase of her life is and she is living these days to the fullest.
2013 was a big year for Friend and her sisters-a wedding, a baby, a national championship, and a pair of silver medals. Whereas a substantial age gap can cause disconnection between siblings, the year's events have brought the Friend sisters closer together. "There is something so wonderful about that seven-year gap now, because it's just so great to be able to support her and root for her as an older sister," said Ashley. "We get so excited to pack up the car and head down to UNC for a game."
Ashley was forced to cheer for Friend from afar during last year's national championship game, but with no more births planned in the immediate future, you can bet if Carolina finds itself in the same position next year, Abbey will be surrounded by her Friends.
